What Makes a Hero? explores the science of altruism and why we sacrifice for other people. The book explained my impulse to be of service, having recently thrown myself into election politics, and it also offered helpful tips for giving generously without overextending myself. The author states: “Contrary to the lore surrounding our cape-clad icons, heroes are not some set-apart species. We all have the power to unlock our own potential heroism, and there are concrete things we can do to build on our selfless capabilities.” “Everyone is capable of sacrificing for the greater good in some significant way, regardless of life circumstances, physical strength, worldview, or past actions.” The author lays out many aspects of heroic behavior→ |
“[What’s] important is how we process the bad things that happen to us and whether we consciously decide to create redeeming meaning from them. To tip the balance toward openhearted altruism rather than defensiveness and emotional shutdown, we need to face our pain head-on..."
“One way to put difficult experiences into context, to avoid being swept into their undertow, is to view them from a universal perspective: For every setback we undergo—a job loss, an assault, an abandonment—thousands or millions of human beings all over the world have almost certainly absorbed a blow just like it. Not only does this mind-set prevent us from feeling alone in our suffering, it increases our empathy for others in the same situation."
There’s a big difference between shrinking away from “the homeless” and making eye-contact with an unhoused human being. The author says, “This kind of personalization is also an ideal way to combat the existential despair that descends when we realize we alone aren’t going to be able to solve problems like world hunger, genocide, or educational neglect.” “When you meet a homeless man on the streets of San Francisco or see the face of a Rwandan boy in the newspaper, think of them not as “other” or a “foreigner,” but as someone who’s suffered disappointment and deprivation just as you have." |
There’s plenty of research demonstrating that giving generously to others makes us happier.
“Dedicating your life to something larger than yourself, research shows, imports a lasting sense of happiness and well-being—one that can sometimes be powerful enough to ward off depression, banish fatigue, and even add years to your life.”
“...being generous boosts your mood and health because it strengthens your sense that you’re doing something significant…The boost we get from helping may also mute our stress response, causing us to release fewer jarring stress hormones...”
I’ve found volunteering is the fastest way to feel part of a any group.
“[Through volunteering] You’re creating more and more invisible lines of connection in the world, so you don’t feel as isolated and alienated. When you’re helpful and kind in the greater world, you’re going to start to experience community in many other places.”
Burnout can be a danger in helping others if we’re not careful.
“To help make sure your altruistic tank isn’t regularly hitting empty, it makes sense to choose altruistic commitments that you enjoy for their own sake. …To balance your altruistic goals with the rest of your life, throw yourself into ventures that really matter to you...”
“In the end, succeeding at your altruistic goals comes down to keeping them at the forefront of your mind when so many other responsibilities and concerns continually clamor for your attention.”
Volunteering can feel awkward at first, but taking action is what's impoprtant.
“Developing heroic qualities like empathy, courage, altruism, and compassion is possible through deliberate practice...we refine capabilities like listening, generating empathy, and taking compassionate action by practicing them over and over again.” “When we learn how to focus our attention, repeatedly doing things that are important to us, these new habits become hard-wired into our brains, making it easier and easier to carry them out… When we carry out the same altruistic behaviors day after day or week after week, then—whether it’s mentoring kids, serving food at a soup kitchen, or asking others if they need help—our brains will gradually rewire themselves” |
I've never considered myself a hero, but this book gave me a new way of framing my helping behavior. To broaden your heroic generosity, read What Makes a Hero?