Memoir: Three Weeks with My Brother

     Three Weeks with My Brother, by Nicholas Sparks and Micah Sparks, weaves a dual narrative of an around-the-world trip and the family history of two brothers.  The younger, Nicholas, is the best-selling author of The Notebook. He is driven to succeed but desperately needs to rebalance his life priorities.  His older brother, Micah, is an irrepressible daredevil who has lost his faith. 
     The family saga was the strongest element of the book.  We learn of the boys’ many youthful adventures (most instigated by Micah), and their reverence for their vibrant mother, erratic father, and saintly younger sister. 
​     Their family was desperately poor for much of their upbringing, which made a lasting impression on Micah, who became driven to achieve financial success later in life.

     One of my favorite anecdotes was of their father driving through the rain and telling the kids to close their eyes.  He would make the rain cease by shouting “Stop” as the car hit an underpass and the rain briefly abated.  His “magic” was only strong enough to stop the rain for the duration of the underpass.

     The family dynamics were fascinating.  Micah was always testing his parents and getting into trouble at school.  Nicholas felt invisible as the middle child and became an overachiever, getting good grades and participating in sports.  He talked Micah into joining the cross-country team with him, which was a turning point in his older brother’s life, as it gave Micah camaraderie and success (the team qualified for the state championship). 
     As the youngest and only girl, their younger sister received much of their parent’s attention.  She was portrayed similar to the angelic Beth March of Little Women, and like Beth developed a life-threatening illness.

     The authors do a great job setting up the strong emotional ties within this family, so that when tragedy strikes (as it does, repeatedly), the reader also experiences the blow of grief and loss.  This was the most powerful aspect of the book. 

     Less effective was Nicholas’s emotional pain over his son’s failure to mature along typical developmental benchmarks.  I have friends with children who do not conform to typical “norms.”  They’re great kids, and his inability to accept and celebrate his son was disappointing.
     Nicholas details how Micah enjoys playing with this nephew and always asks after him—conveying this as a special attribute of Micah and complaining bitterly of other adults who ignored his son.
     The reader observes Nicholas and his wife taking the boy to one specialist after another, until Nicholas decides to single-handedly accelerate his son’s development in time to enroll him in kindergarten. 
     Every parent must make their own choices and it’s natural to want children to be their best selves, but his emphasis on fixing his son seemed prejudicial bordering on abusive, although it had the desired outcome of mainstreaming the boy.

     The adventure half of the story chronicles their journey around the globe to see archeological marvels: Mayan ruins in Guatemala, Machu Picchu (Peru), Easter Island, Ayers Rock (Australia), Angkor Wat and the Killing Fields (Cambodia); the Taj Mahal (India), the rock cathedrals of Ethiopia, ancient temples in Malta, and a dogsled tour to see the northern lights in Norway.

     The two young men (in their late thirties) have many sublime experiences on their tour, including invasive jungles and howler monkeys in Guatemala, stunning sunsets over Easter Island, and humbling awe observing the rock cathedrals in Ethiopia and the Taj Mahal in India.       I enjoyed vicariously traveling along with the authors, but was bothered by their lack of respect for the cultures behind these wonders.  Micah repeatedly tried to take pictures centering himself in the ancient tombs, oblivious to the tour guides' distress over him desecrating their ancient ancestors. 
​     Similarly, the two men grew bored visiting the many museums on their tour and ridiculed the archeologist guides’ fascination with “jars and bowls.”  Played for laughs, this immature attitude toward the professionals hired to enrich their tour was the book’s main weakness.

     It is in the moments of quiet reflection during the tour that the two men are their most appealing. Together they try to make sense of the tragedies that befell their family and how to better live their adult lives.  Micah seems to come away with a renewed sense of faith or at least a willingness to attend church with his wife again.  Nicholas discovers the roots of his need to overachieve and an understanding of the importance of balance in his life.
     The enduring love between these two brothers and the way they support each other is a definite strength of Three Weeks with My Brother and makes it worth reading.

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