 | The Art and Science of Connection uses scientific studies to illustrate the many ways social health improves our physical, mental, and emotional well being. For example: “Connection in various forms is linked to a range of benefits for the body, including a stronger immune system, lower risk of disease, and greater overall health.” And, “having close relationships seems to be as important as exercising and not smoking when it comes to maintaining our cognitive abilities as we age.” Conversely, a lack of social connection is detrimental to our health: “you are two to three times more likely to die in the next decade if your relationships are lacking, regardless of your other health habits.” |
The author provides self-assessment tools to explore different relationship styles: frequent versus infrequent interaction; casual versus intense connection. Mine: “You thrive on infrequent interaction and deep connection.”
She also provides multiple strategies for improving our social health. For example, someone who feels stretched too thin may need to rest and ease back on socializing. Someone content with their social networks may focus on sustaining or deepening these bonds. She asks, “Is your overall social health strategy to increase your number of [social] sources, maintain or reduce your number of sources, deepen your connections, sustain your connections, or a mix of these?"
She also provides multiple strategies for improving our social health. For example, someone who feels stretched too thin may need to rest and ease back on socializing. Someone content with their social networks may focus on sustaining or deepening these bonds. She asks, “Is your overall social health strategy to increase your number of [social] sources, maintain or reduce your number of sources, deepen your connections, sustain your connections, or a mix of these?"
 | The book touches on the “loneliness epidemic” afflicting a growing number of people around the modern world. The pain of loneliness is very real: “We literally feel physical pain alongside the emotional pain of not belonging, of being cast out by peers.” This reminds me of the television show Survivor, where people are voted off the island—which I find too excruciating to watch! The author says, “loneliness is like hunger: a message to your brain that it needs something it’s not getting.” The antidote is developing healthy social relationships. Because “Loneliness is often a self-focused internal experience[;] If you feel lonely, volunteering can be an especially helpful approach.” |
One exercise called the Curiosity Game can help build or deepen relationships by asking provocative questions, such as:
- What is something you were afraid of when you were younger, that you’re no longer afraid of today?
- What is a big risk you took that has paid off?
- What are you most excited about these days?
- Who was the biggest influence on you when you were growing up?
Another helpful skill is “intentional guesting: the act of choosing whether, why, and how one attends a gathering.” For example, when you receive an invitation, are you excited? Filled with dread? “This should help you identify whether that relationship, community, or activity is generally nourishing or draining to your social health.” And whether or not you want to attend this particular event at this time.
 | The author spends the last third of the book discussing ways to create a global social health movement, and argues that not all cultures are amenable to fostering social health: “In general, people tend to prioritize independence and self-sufficiency in cultures that value the individual, as in the US and Australia, whereas people tend to prioritize interdependence and group harmony in cultures that value the collective, as in Brazil and India.” This part of the book was less engaging for me than the earlier sections focused on individual social health, though I did enjoy her examples of places around the world working on fostering stronger communities. |
The author’s takeaway message: “You do have to make relationships a priority, experiment with strengthening your social muscles, and build community where you live, work, and play.”
The Art and Science of Connection: Why Social Health Is the Missing Key to Living Longer, Healthier, and Happier provides the tools to achieve this social well-being.
The Art and Science of Connection: Why Social Health Is the Missing Key to Living Longer, Healthier, and Happier provides the tools to achieve this social well-being.
Other books you may also enjoy: Supercommunicators and Say the Right Thing
