 | Dialogue is a fundamental element of creative writing, and there are a wide variety of techniques to design dialogue with intention. William Noble, in his book Show Don’t Tell, says “dialogue has the power to put us into the middle of the scene, to make us characters in the ongoing story, to involve us in the tensions and conflicts wherever they might be. Dialogue is drama.” Here's a summary of some I've found especially useful: |
CONFLICTED CONVERSATION
In Writing Fiction for Dummies, the authors say, “Dialogue is war! Every dialogue should be controlled conflict between at least two characters with opposing agendas. The main purpose of dialogue is to advance the conflict of the story.” They note, “conflict can be hidden under a surface politeness, as long as the different characters have different goals.”
Gloria Kempton, in Dialogue: Techniques and Exercises for Crafting Effective Dialogue, says, “We can use dialogue to keep raising the stakes for our protagonist [and] keep propelling the story forward. …Every scene of dialogue, in some way, needs to move the story conflict forward. We need to be at a different place at the end of the dialogue than we were at the beginning.” Do this by “engaging your characters in conflict and using dialogue to increase their struggle.”
She provides questions to help writers hone dialogue conflict, including:
In Writing Fiction for Dummies, the authors say, “Dialogue is war! Every dialogue should be controlled conflict between at least two characters with opposing agendas. The main purpose of dialogue is to advance the conflict of the story.” They note, “conflict can be hidden under a surface politeness, as long as the different characters have different goals.”
Gloria Kempton, in Dialogue: Techniques and Exercises for Crafting Effective Dialogue, says, “We can use dialogue to keep raising the stakes for our protagonist [and] keep propelling the story forward. …Every scene of dialogue, in some way, needs to move the story conflict forward. We need to be at a different place at the end of the dialogue than we were at the beginning.” Do this by “engaging your characters in conflict and using dialogue to increase their struggle.”
She provides questions to help writers hone dialogue conflict, including:
- How does the dialogue increase suspense for what’s to come, raising stakes for the protagonist?
- What kind of external and internal obstacles does the passage of dialogue surface for the protagonist?
- How is the dialogue pivotal in changing the characters—making them more desperate for what they want, causing them to want to give up, bringing them to a place of new determination?
SURPRISING SIDESTEPS
In Revision and Self-Editing for Publication, James Scott Bell says, “One of the most common mistakes aspiring writers make with dialogue is creating a simple back-and-forth exchange. …This sort of dialogue is called on the nose. There are no surprises … Your dialogue will be stronger if you sidestep the obvious.”
Here’s an example from my own writing of direct, on-the-nose dialogue:
“What brings you to my door, imp?” The honey-skinned witch loomed over me.
“I need your aid.”
A less direct revision:
“An imp. On my doorstep.” The honey-skinned witch loomed over me. [Implied question: What are you doing here?]
“You know why I'm here.” [Implied: The imp needs something from the witch, but what?]
In Revision and Self-Editing for Publication, James Scott Bell says, “One of the most common mistakes aspiring writers make with dialogue is creating a simple back-and-forth exchange. …This sort of dialogue is called on the nose. There are no surprises … Your dialogue will be stronger if you sidestep the obvious.”
Here’s an example from my own writing of direct, on-the-nose dialogue:
“What brings you to my door, imp?” The honey-skinned witch loomed over me.
“I need your aid.”
A less direct revision:
“An imp. On my doorstep.” The honey-skinned witch loomed over me. [Implied question: What are you doing here?]
“You know why I'm here.” [Implied: The imp needs something from the witch, but what?]
 | Another example of sidestepping between three characters, Garso, Ayda, and Ayda’s cousin Tark, preparing to steal a herd of horses, from my novel-in-progress, Sky God’s Warrior: “Leave stealing the horses to us spiritshifters,” Garso said to Ayda. “Go keep watch.” [Implied: I want Tark to myself; you’re too lowly to help steal the horses.] Ayda appealed to her cousin. “I spotted the herd. I want my share.” [Implied: I should be the one to help steal the herd, not Garso.] “You have the sharpest eye,” Tark said. She slid to the ground, her wildcat spirit-cloak floating behind her. “Go.” [Implied: I’m willing to sacrifice you to keep the peace with Garso.] |
CREATING CUES
Before I started studying dialogue, I often front-loaded or buried the key word or phrase in a character's discourse, tacking on physical actions or exposition to the end of their speech. This muddles the reaction of other character(s) and creates extra work for the reader.
According to Robert McKee’s book, Dialogue, “ideally, the last word or phrase of each speech is the core word that seals meaning and cues a reaction from the other side of the scene.”
Here’s a scene from an early version of Sky God’s Warrior with poor cueing caused by too many intervening lines of exposition between the cues:
“Back to camp now?” Ayda asked, anxious to gain distance from the enemy Saarmadi.
Dni angled her horse toward the river. “Water the horses first.”
Ayda reluctantly reined Red to fall in behind her. “We should water them at the stream we crossed,” she said.
Dni squeezed her horse into a trot. The other spirit-shifters followed, their cloaks floating from their shoulders. “This is closer.”
Before I started studying dialogue, I often front-loaded or buried the key word or phrase in a character's discourse, tacking on physical actions or exposition to the end of their speech. This muddles the reaction of other character(s) and creates extra work for the reader.
According to Robert McKee’s book, Dialogue, “ideally, the last word or phrase of each speech is the core word that seals meaning and cues a reaction from the other side of the scene.”
Here’s a scene from an early version of Sky God’s Warrior with poor cueing caused by too many intervening lines of exposition between the cues:
“Back to camp now?” Ayda asked, anxious to gain distance from the enemy Saarmadi.
Dni angled her horse toward the river. “Water the horses first.”
Ayda reluctantly reined Red to fall in behind her. “We should water them at the stream we crossed,” she said.
Dni squeezed her horse into a trot. The other spirit-shifters followed, their cloaks floating from their shoulders. “This is closer.”
 | Here's a better flow with the cues linked together more tightly: “Back to camp now?” Ayda asked, anxious to gain distance from the enemy Saarmadi. “First water the horses.” Dni angled her horse toward the river. “We can water them at the stream we crossed,” Ayda said. “ This is closer.” Dni squeezed her horse into a trot. The other spirit-shifters followed, their cloaks floating from their shoulders. Ayda reluctantly reined Red to fall in behind them. |
LEAN LOCUTION
Another technique James Scott Bell suggests is dropping words to create “the feeling of real speech.” When words are left out, the “exchange sounds so natural, yet it’s lean and meaningful.”
My character Ayda from Sky God’s Warrior often leaves words out of her sentences. The missing words are italicized in brackets:
Ayda showed her palm. “[The] Last time I saw you Varka Mogeli tried to throw you on a manure pile.”
“[It was] Lucky for me you intervened.” He flourished an elaborate courtesy.
“You’ve aged nicely, Vahza Shavardeli.”
“My friends call me Shavard.”
She waggled her eyebrows. “[Are you] Offering [your] friendship?”
His mouth quirked in a lopsided smile. “Such as it is. Mother says my tongue is too barbed for civilized company.”
Ayda snorted. “[There is] No civilized company here.”
Another technique James Scott Bell suggests is dropping words to create “the feeling of real speech.” When words are left out, the “exchange sounds so natural, yet it’s lean and meaningful.”
My character Ayda from Sky God’s Warrior often leaves words out of her sentences. The missing words are italicized in brackets:
Ayda showed her palm. “[The] Last time I saw you Varka Mogeli tried to throw you on a manure pile.”
“[It was] Lucky for me you intervened.” He flourished an elaborate courtesy.
“You’ve aged nicely, Vahza Shavardeli.”
“My friends call me Shavard.”
She waggled her eyebrows. “[Are you] Offering [your] friendship?”
His mouth quirked in a lopsided smile. “Such as it is. Mother says my tongue is too barbed for civilized company.”
Ayda snorted. “[There is] No civilized company here.”
THINKING OF T.H.A.D.
Elizabeth George coined the phrase “Talking Heads Avoidance Device” or THAD. In her craft book Write Away, she says, “it’s an activity going on in a scene that would otherwise consist [only] of dialogue [and] chosen wisely, it reveals character; it may in and of itself contain important information; it can be used as a metaphor.” The activity can also reveal a character’s state of mind.
She urges writers to choose a THAD deliberately. In Mastering the Process, she says, “its ability to depict and illuminate character shouldn’t be overlooked. … THAD can reveal or illustrate [a] character’s emotional state, psychological state, or physical state [and] can add details to the setting of the scene.”
In addition, “THAD can increase the tension or conflict between characters. This works especially well if the THAD is something that makes the reader’s skin crawl and allows her to project her reaction onto the character performing the THAD. Gutting a majestic but newly killed animal is an example of this, especially when the details are intimate and brutally given.”
Elizabeth George coined the phrase “Talking Heads Avoidance Device” or THAD. In her craft book Write Away, she says, “it’s an activity going on in a scene that would otherwise consist [only] of dialogue [and] chosen wisely, it reveals character; it may in and of itself contain important information; it can be used as a metaphor.” The activity can also reveal a character’s state of mind.
She urges writers to choose a THAD deliberately. In Mastering the Process, she says, “its ability to depict and illuminate character shouldn’t be overlooked. … THAD can reveal or illustrate [a] character’s emotional state, psychological state, or physical state [and] can add details to the setting of the scene.”
In addition, “THAD can increase the tension or conflict between characters. This works especially well if the THAD is something that makes the reader’s skin crawl and allows her to project her reaction onto the character performing the THAD. Gutting a majestic but newly killed animal is an example of this, especially when the details are intimate and brutally given.”
 | In the opening chapter of Sky God’s Warrior, Ayda has a tense scene with her cousin Kusskil in which he’s lecturing and she’s throwing her knife into a nearby wooden wagon—to blow off steam and to obliquely reveal her frustration with his lack of support for her plans. Her throws get more vicious as the scene progresses. Kusskil calmy retrieves her knife and keeps lecturing~ |
Elizabeth George sums up the attributes of effective dialogue in Mastering the Process.
Successful dialogue:
Successful dialogue:
- Adds to the revelation of character through what is said and how it is said
- Displays a character’s attitudes, beliefs, intentions, and agendas
- Distinguishes between characters and defines their relationships
- Acts as an efficient means of moving the story forward, adding tension, providing conflict, and giving a scene subtext
For more on subtext in dialogue, read Writing Tips: Crafting Subtext
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