| I recently took a class from a renowned editor who reinforced my impression that character voice is one of the most compelling elements of engaging fiction. Crafting a captivating character voice involves meticulous word choice to reveal the character’s attitude, personality, background, and beliefs. Nancy Kress gives solid advice on making each character’s voice distinctive in her excellent craft book, Characters, Emotion, & Viewpoint: “Is your character cynical? Then his vocabulary will be cynical as well. Is she sentimental? Her diction will be too. [Voice] can reflect region, ethnicity, or historical era as well as character.” |
- “Sweetie, I don’t mean to pry, but you look sadder than a soaked kitten.”
- He squared his shoulders as he tread into the room, [meeting] the hard gazes of each man at the table. No backing down. No looking away. He nodded once. “Hey.”
| I establish DISTINCTIVE SPEECH PATTERNS for my three main characters in the opening chapters of my work-in-progress Sky God’s Warrior.
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| Each character also has DISTINCT BELIEFS:
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Blunt and to the point: “Cut the chatter. I need to think!“
A tolerant peacekeeper: “Would you please tone back the noise level? I’m trying to think.“
No patience: "Shut the &$%# up! I can’t hear myself think!"
Thinking in short, choppy sentences: Screw Janet. She can think what she wants.
Layering thoughts with vinegar or sarcasm: I can’t believe Janet thinks I ratted her out. But then she always was a self-centered witch who couldn’t tell her curling iron from her broomstick.
A worrywart reflecting on the situation: I should have never told Janet I got together with Mark. That’s probably why she thinks I betrayed her. I shouldn’t have said anything. Now Mark’s going to find out and he’ll be upset. Janet is probably on the phone calling him right now.
For example, my character Ayda in Sky God’s Warrior often uses horse-based metaphors reflecting her background on the steppe as these excerpts illustrate:
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These excerpts show Ayda’s opinion of her older sister, Sary, in Sky God’s Warrior:
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Ayda finds the clan matron, Rybili, annoying and thinks more than she speaks in their conversations. Some excerpts, with the spoken words highlighted in dark red:
| [Rybili] “You publicly insulted Matron Yuiti Tiskheneli. With scalps!” [Ayda] Not the praise she’d expected. [Rybili] The matron’s eyelid twitched. “Fortunately, Maqari Artsiveli placated her.” . . . [Ayda] Rybili was too focused on her dreamworld of Clan Geveli’s former glory to see reality. “No freeholders, means no barter, means no tithe.” [Rybili] The matron waved away her concern. “Your ignorance of noble politics endangers the clan. If you want to continue as key-keeper, I insist you learn proper etiquette.” [Ayda] Ironic. Ayda knew more about Kolkha’s political history from Greama’s poetry than Rybili could ever grasp. |
| In contrast, Ayda’s style is warmer and more open with her younger sister, Kel: Ayda ruffled her curls. Kel was only fourteen but already budded with a woman’s curves. “You’re taller.” “Yet still a head shorter than you.” Kel perched on tiptoes. “How was your journey?” “Tiamar pissed rain on us once we reached Kolkha.” Kel giggled. . . . “Brought these for you.” Ayda pulled two gilded combs from her belt pouch. Stylized antlered deer leapt across the tops. “They’re beautiful!” Kel tucked them into her blond curls. “Thank you.” |
- Use different lengths of phrases
- Use different sentence structures, like only main clauses or a lot of subordinate or embedded clauses
- Use conjunctions, noun markers, filler words, etc… more with some speakers and less with others
- Use different punctuation marks (question marks, exclamation marks, hyphens, colons, semi-colons, etc…) more with some speakers and less with others
Now get cooking~
The Fire in Fiction, Characters, Emotion, & Viewpoint, Character,
Crafting Emotional Resonance, Drafting Daring Dialogue
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